And so Christmas is upon us again.
I’ll be honest when I say I’m really trying to get into the spirit of the season – the actual spirit. Not gifting or decorating but trying, really trying to be grateful for what I have and trying to help those who have less. I know I’ve whined about not being able to do much on a student’s salary but when it comes down to it, I have all I really need with me. The fact that I even earn anything is a miracle.
I’m grateful for this postgraduate program that I’m on. I know it’s early days yet and the old me wants to be very careful about how optimistic I sound for fear of jinxing it but the other side of me is saying, failure is part of life. Just because you don’t write about it or say it out loud doesn’t mean it couldn’t happen. Success, I’ve heard, isn’t measured by how many times you achieve something but for every time you pick yourself up with every fall. It’s easy to run when you’re already up, the true measure of a champion is the tenacity with which they pick themselves up after they fall.
So I’ll say it – I’m really enjoying this program right now. I was so traumatized by my previous laboratory experience that I had completely written off any and all research-related work. In reality however, I think God made me wait until I was mature enough to undertake it again. It’s undeniable, I cannot consider a career in academics if I do not have a research background. Maybe one day, it would be possible for me to just teach and leave the researching to those better suited to it than I, but until that day comes, I’ll follow where I am being led.
I’m grateful for family, who loves me unconditionally and who has always had my back. There aren’t enough words left for me to describe just how thankful I am for them.
I’m thankful for the fact that Barath is back in my life. I’m thankful for the journey we are taking together and although it gets a little scary sometimes, I know that as long as we do this together, with God at the helm, this is definitely a journey worth taking and that I am truly enjoying.
And I know the following is going to sound petty but – I’m thankful for my car. As reluctant as I was to get on the road and handle the other mad drivers on the road, the courage God has given me to force me behind the wheel has allowed me to do so many things with an independence I wouldn’t have been able to do had I not pursued a driver’s license and been blessed with the finances to put a down payment on a car (and pay the loan every month). Nothing beats the knowledge that come what may, I have my name on a property that is my own. Yes it’s a small property and it’s beaten up and is a nine year commitment but it is still mine. There’s something very liberating in that.
So looking back on 2011 I would have to say that it has been a good year. As always God has been as tangible as a scarlet thread, running through every event of my life, tying it together in a bundle of goodness, the Author of all things and the Maker of everything beautiful. One of my bosses once told me that at the end of every day we should be able to look on it and think of everything we have accomplished. A day well spent, doing something good for someone else, would make it a life where we didn’t merely exist, but lived.
It’s all the difference between just floating through life, another breathing body making a statistic – or an individual alive with passion and humor and love.
Btw – Happy birthday Barath. I dedicate my 275th post to you. For seven years and hopefully, to seventy more? 
(Here’s me again trying not to be superstitious and being brave enough to say exactly what I want out loud)
Tags: laboratory experience, postgraduate program, research background, tenacity
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