.of cannibalism and movie suicides.

Listening to: Dire Straits

“All I do is kiss you, through the bars of a rhyme.”

I want to watch a really good movie.
I’m sick of all the shitty expensive waste of reel people have the balls to call a movie nowadays. I watched Over Her Dead Body the other day, the new Eva Longoria (Parker) movie and I described it to Cheryl as, it was so bad it was almost over my dead body. If you think that’s a cheesy line, you should watch the movie. Shutter was another one. I think every other language it had been made it was probably better than the English one. I just wanted to slap the ghost (as in she was more annoying then freakishly scary) and the heroine just could not act to save her life. (**spoiler alert** – which remarkably, she did)

Norbit was another one, omg.
My boyfriend, made me go watch this with him, ON VALENTINE’S DAY.

I cannot italicise enough the horror that that movie was. I laughed maybe once throughout that whole movie and even that I think was probably a mouth spasm. My common approach to movies of that calibre is that I normally prop my feet up and drift to sleep and blessedly wake up at the end of the movie. Because I did not want to fall sleep unromantically on Valentine’s Day – I had coffee. Biggest regret of my life right there.

Oh the coffee worked, but it worked too well.

I could not fall asleep while watching Norbit no matter how much I wanted to. So – I had to watch it, with my eyes WIDE OPEN and with no saving graces of a cut reel and my money back and no horny couple to watch three rows down.

And sadly, the list of bad movies I have paid good money to watch, just goes on.
Good horror movies, are even less.

I’m giving up. Not until everyone raves about a movie worth going to watch, one that’s either going to make me laugh till I snort blood, or cry till I weep salt or scream till I’m blue in the face, I am staying away from the movies.

Great, now Barath IMs me about watching Ironman this weekend.
Just when I was making a pledge to avoid cinema altogether.