Listening to: Jack Johnson
“We’re just a bubble in a boiling pot.”
Thanks to my lovely friend, Melissa, I read this the other day. This is but an excerpt (more like the last part) from John Mayer’s blog.
“This is about us all. Every one of us. Who all seem to know deep down that it’s incredibly hard to be alive and interact with the world around us but will try and cover it up at any cost. For as badass and unaffected as we try to come off, we’re all just one sentence away from being brought to the edge of tears, if only it was worded right.
And I don’t want to act immune to that anymore. I took the biggest detour from myself over the past year, since I decided that I wasn’t going to care about what people thought about me. I got to the point where I had so much padding on that, sure, I couldn’t feel the negativity, but that’s because I couldn’t feel much of anything. And I think I’m done with that.
I’m not the first person to admit we’re all self conscious, Kanye was. But what I want to do is to shed a little light on why we’re all in the same boat, no matter the shape of the life we lead: because every one of us were told since birth that we were special. We were spoken to by name through a television. We were promised we could be anything that we wanted to be, if only we believed it and then, faster than we saw coming, we were set loose into the world to shake hands with the millions of other people who were told the exact same thing.
And really? Really? It turns out we’re just not all that special, when you break it down. Beautifully unspectacular, actually. And that truth is going to catch up with us whether we want to run from it or not. The paparazzo following me to the gym ain’t gonna be Herb Ritts and the guy he’s following ain’t gonna be Bob Dylan. It’s just a matter of how old you are once you embrace that fact. And for me, 30 sounds about right.
What now, then? I can only really say for myself: Enjoy who I am, the talents and the liabilities. Stop acting careless. In fact, care more. Be vulnerable but stay away from where it hurts. Read. See more shows. Of any kind. Rock shows, art shows, boat shows. Create more art. Wear hoodies to dinner.
Carry a notebook and hand it to people when they passionately recommend something and ask them to write it down for me. Root for others. Give more and expect the same in return, but over time.
Act nervous when I’m nervous, puzzled when I don’t know what the hell to do, and smile when it all goes my way. And never in any other order than that.
And when it’s all over, whether at the end of this fabulous career or of this life, which I hope takes place at the same time, I should look back and say that I had it good and I made the most of it while I was able. And so should you.
I’m going quiet now.
John“
Is there any doubt as to why I love this man? John, you should never go quiet.
I do however have one opinion to add to the above. We are told that we are beautiful spectacular people from almost everyone growing up – our parents, our teachers, Hallmark even. But even as we grow up and hear these assurances repeatedly, every time we turn on the TV or open a magazine or even an online blog, we are exposed to different undercurrents of thoughts – ideas that seem to oppose what we have been told time and time again. That in fact, what and who we are, may not be good enough.
When thrown headlong into the world, we realize that there is another set of rules that exist, ones that are set by the self-proclaimed powers-that-be of this world who dictate what is considered unique and beautiful – and what isn’t. It is unfortunate because everyone else seems to set their standards to those perspectives, which ultimately are just that, perspectives that somehow become an unspoken (but heralded) law.
And by God, it’s a mighty current to resist all on your own and that’s why sometimes it’s easier to just let go and float with it. But we shouldn’t, life’s too short to live it in the shadow of what someone else thinks you should be.
Immune, is the word John used.
It’s a good word – it means to be protected against potentially harmful agents.
Goodness knows, the “you’re not thin enough/pretty enough/cool enough/smart enough” laws never brought anyone else happiness by hearing it. They appear almost petty in face value but carry much weight on the emotional front – nobody wants to be inadequate so we strive to reconstruct ourselves and cover up the damage with a cool unaffected facade. It’s no surprise why we are all so self-conscious at times.
I think there is no way to be completely immune against the tide but living life to the fullest means living through and feeling each moment, completely. There will be wounds and tears because goodness knows there are people out there who have nothing good to say but they say it anyway and sometimes all it takes is one particular word to crack the chink in our armors. So no, there is no complete immunity against vultures but the security of knowing we are exactly who we are meant to be will ensure that though they may attack, the wounds will be skin deep and hopefully, will heal as fast.
I guess, we can’t completely stop caring to shield us from the pain because then that causes all kinds of other problems, but like John said, be vulnerable but stay away from where it hurts.
Security is healthier than denial and problems should be faced head on so that the magnified demons of our denial don’t come to collect one day down the road.
Life’s too short and I want to die a happy woman.
Yes, that’s right, happy.
And I don’t care if happy isn’t cool enough for you.
