Prayer2

This one is a bit overdue but for the grace of getting through my finals and placing the next tile in the footpath of my life.

Holy Spirit, you who make me see everything and show me the way to reach my ideal. You who give me the divine gift to forgive and forget the wrong that is done to me and who are in all instances of my life with me. I in this short dialogue want to thank you for the everything and confirm once more that I never want to be separated from you no matter how great the material desires may be. I want to be with you and my loved ones in your perpetual glory. Amen.

Say this prayer 3 consecutive days without stating one’s wish. After the 3rd day, your wish will be granted no matter how difficult it may be. Promise to publish this once the prayer is granted.

Bait

I ate several things yesterday, only one dish of which was not shared by anyone else in my family which I am therefore attributing to my diarrhoea this morning:

Hokkien mee from a certain restaurant in Gombak that goes by a name that is made up of a repetition of the same number as many times as the first digit of the name of the shop.

I am not happy.

Soul

Listening to: Soul – Matchbox 20
“But you don’t worry, you don’t worry ; ‘cuz darling you got so much soul.”

This is my song. The song I listen to that gets me pumped whenever I’m nervous about something.
This is my pre-exam, pre-presentation song.
This song is to remind me that no matter what the circumstance, nothing is impossible.

Three years ago, the possibility of going on with my Honours never even crossed my mind.
Two years ago, I figured I would let time take its course and see if maybe I wanted to do it.
A year ago, I decided I might do it, but Honours would probably kill me; I didn’t think I could handle the stress – that I didn’t have what it takes to be a scientist/researcher.
Six months ago I realised that I did not have the finances to continue with my Hons in Australia – another AUD20K was more than I could ask from my parents again. That’s when I realized that I wanted to do it so badly that I did not care whether I could handle it or not.
Three months ago, I received word from my parents that it was possible for me to continue to do it locally.
A month ago I received an offer of a scholarship to do my Honours.

Today I sit at my new place in the lab besieged by all kinds of other more important troubles that I realized that I had forgotten that once upon a time my biggest concern was that I didn’t think I would be able to handle Honours.

A lot of things change in three years; somehow you find that God has very different plans for you than you may even have imagined for yourself.  That He has more faith in you that even you may have in yourself.

Busted

OKAY I couldn’t bear to sit for another so I decided to sneak off while the lab was empty and riiiiiiight at that moment the lab started filling up again with people and it was too late to turn back,I already had my bag slung across my shoulder and all so I just smiled brightly and said, ciao amigos, and I turn around the corner only to bump into my SUPERVISOR, who glances at his watch and says, so early?

DUDE.
dude.
DUDE!

It’s 6 freaking pm. No, it is not early.
I have no experiments as of yet, am I supposed to spend about three hours getting brain dead by staring at words swimming in front of my eyes just so I can leave at an hour that is acceptably late to you?

Nope, ah uh, sorry, no can do compadre. I have learned from my previous lab placements i.e. FrankieG, that sometimes you have to say firmly and resolutely say no.

Only this time, I smiled serenely at him and said, “Yeah, I have to catch the bus,” in the split second that he proceeded to smile and say “Just kidding” or something to that effect. He’s a really cool guy who’s brainy as hell and I really like him but he runs the same enthusiastic race as Frankie and I live at the opposite end of my campus.

Okay cute guy just stood up again and I totally checked him out and he almost caught me.
Omg I didn’t know hot blonde guys went here too!

Spoiler

Listening to: Sideways – Carlos Santana
Currently reading: Nothing – my eyes need a break and my bum needs a rest

So I started my Honours program. It’s a great project and the lab is fantastic, I witnessed my first rat brain surgery yesterday; handled a few mice brains – do you know how tiny they are? So yeah everything’s great but it’s 5:22 pm on a Friday evening and I could not stand to be in the lab another moment staring at the animal ethics form I am supposed to fill out. Do you know how dreary those things are on a Friday evening when it’s storming outside, freezing inside and all you want to do is go home and slump on the sofa and watch the Simpsons’ till you are blue in the face?

I couldn ‘t do much Facebooking or blogging in the lab since my supervisor was sitting right there behind me doing some lab work, so like the coward I am, I grabbed my iPod, left my computer monitor on snooze, sprawled my papers over the desk and escaped to the library where nobody could judge me for spending at least half an hour superpoking others. Why stay so late, you ask? Because, everybody in the lab does it, they’re so hardworking and although I’m barely started I don’t want them to think I’m some lazy bum already. Not so soon, anyway.

Anyhoo – updates.

I received some very startling news on Monday about a friend of mine. I won’t go into the details but though we weren’t superclose, I knew him, and upon finding out, I could not explain the guilt – like just because I knew him, I was indirectly responsible, like I could have done something to change things.

Something, anything.
Needless to say, the week started off really sombre.

Plus starting all over again, though it was refreshing, was new. Had to readapt all over again, learn new campus routes start up conversations, be the first to smile, ask questions. So far, it’s Friday, and it’s been okay – this looks optimistic. Being a person that has always been reluctant to step outside her picket fences, God has pretty much made sure I step outside of almost every picket fence I have ever been in. Which I realise now, has made me the person that I am. Plus this time, I get to do it with the benefit of my home and my loved ones. So you win some and lose some.

..Ouuu cute guy just walked in the library. Had to pretend to type nonsense so he wouldn’t notice I was checking him out. ..

Met Kiki two weeks ago and had a truly Malaysian lunch overdosed on a Haagen-Daz dessert basket; it was really cool to be meeting her outside of Australia – it’s really ironic how almost all of us were from the same country but never would have met if we hadn’t gone abroad to study. Man, I miss all you bums.

Since I’ve gotten back I’ve watched

• National Treasure 2 – I slept at the end, they took like half an hour to do a scene that could have taken 5 minutes

• I am Legend – twice – Will Smith rocked it out

• Game Plan – laughed till my sides were sore, The Rock is really coming along and that kid is adorable

• Rendition - yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!

and

• Gabriel – omg this is so good you have got to watch it…seriously, it is no good if you watch it anywhere else but on big screen
  …okay sorry I can’t make anyone else watch it just because I had to…STAY AWAY FROM THIS SHOW…like the plot was okay I suppose, about archangels fighting to keep the souls of men from damnation but funnily enough never used the word God, just ‘Source’ and ‘Light’ although they used words like Purgatory and basically used names of angels from the Bible where I’m pretty sure the word God was used quite a few times… and.. *spoiler alert* it really confused me when the angels had sex. Okay yeah I suppose it’s all about them falling to earth and becoming human but really they could have just kissed …seriously, I know I come from a background that places a lot of reverence on angels and the roles they play but I tried watching that show as unbiased as I could and it was to me, all religious points aside, not that good. I really liked the dark artsy side of this show though, the way they played with shadow and light and the grainy effect of the film to give you a feeling of deep desperation which is after all where the movei is set i.e. Purgatory, but – let’s face it, the movie isn’t mainstream and the actors though unknown, were pretty good. So yeah, I would give this movie a 2/10 because I’m an art fart; but plot wise, it kinda stank.This movie got a lot of mixed reviews, so if you still want to make up your mind about it (because I know I hate it when people make up their minds for me especially when it comes to movies or books), wait for the DVD to come out. Otherwise, don’t bother.

What else, Oh, Happy 21st Bryan!

Hmm, yeah that’s it. And now it’s 6pm and I have to go back and stare at my ethics form for another half an hour before I mandatorily sneak off.

All I can say is TGIF.

Of heart and home

Listening to: Wentworth Miller speaking French (muahhhhh)
  http://wetforwent.org/2007/12/12/went-speaking-french/

As the first post of 2008 can I just say

It feels ffffffffffffricking good to be
back!

Nothing much has changed – I’m still very much addicted to WWM saying Prison Break in French, those eyebrows……argh kill me now!

Okay here’s what I’ve learned.

This whole concept of home; I never used to think you could have more than one at a time. That was me three years ago - PreBSc.

Post the BSc I have learned that ‘home’ is not so much just a building as it is the community of people that it constitutes. This community is what you come to identify as ‘family’ and eventually the two become synonymous; since the family inhabits the home, your home is where your family is. Hence the saying, home is where the heart is.

As it almost always starts off, wherever your immediate family is, is where home is. I have learned that while I was in Adelaide, I met a community of amazing people that made it possible for me to make this little city in South Australia a second home. For by having no other family in SA, we thus became each other’s family and following from above, Adelaide became a home away from home.

For every familiar (and novel) emotion, event and experience:

laughter,
food, fun, fights,
nicknames,
photographs,
support, tears, pats on backs, hugs,
wiseass witty remarks,
jeers,
presents,
laksa sarawak soirees, birthday celebrations,
music sharing, gossip,
teddy bears, advice, boy drooling,
lectures, 
fashion advice,
park picnics, shopping trips,
bumcrack picture taking and saving it on Noon’s phone as her screen saver,
late night phone calls,
poker nights, barbeques, Coronas,
sitting in the parking lot in heels – all dressed up and nowhere to go,
midnight trips to Coles in pajamas and uncombed hair,
sleepovers,
Adelaide show fireworks, movie marathons,
last minute scrambles to the airport…

…and lots and lots of love.

To everyone in Adelaide who brightened up my life, my family, you will always have a special place in my heart. And trust me, this is but a goodbye speech. We will, by the grace of God, meet again.

To my good old friends, it’s way good to be back, let’s keep this going
And no more Charades, if I have to act ‘Riders of the Storm: The Intergalactic War’ or ‘Quantum Trisector’ in one and a half minutes again, there is no telling what I will do.