Now I Sing

listening to: powderfinger
                  “i’m still lost and running.”

Congratulations Gauci, I wish you all the best and I cannot say I am unhappy with the decision because you are of Idol calibre. I was just leaning more towards Matt is all

So, the results are out. It’s kinda depressing because it rings with a sort of finality. Like this really and truly means, my degree years are over for good – that I’m no longer an undergraduate (well I will be till graduation but you get my drift).

I don’t feel aimless, I just feel a little sad at the way things are ending. Not so much that they are, mind you, but the way they’re going out. It doesn’t seem right and I don’t know if I want to try to remedy that or not. I don’t even know if these are the birthday blues talking or what but it seems like some issues never truly go away no matter how well you think things are going.

I guess, for now, I’ve done all I can here.
It’s time for me to go home, I suppose.

Goodness knows, I really do miss it.

I hope nobody takes this personally, it’s just the blues talking I guess.

Six

Listening to: Aretha Franklin – Think
“Let your mind go and let yourself be free.”

Speaking of Aretha. I was talking to Barath the other day and he heard Aretha (the greatest) singing in the background and he said, is this who you want to be?

I replied emphatically, Yes! Aretha is the frickin’ best!

To which he replied, aww but she is all soul and size, and you have neither.

…

And in the silence that reigned, he asked what the matter was and I said, I don’t want to be like that! I want to be like her!!

To which he amended, okay okay, you prefer all size and no soul?

…

We went through several combinations and eventually agreed that what I wanted was to be all soul and no size.

Yeah no relevance whatsoever but I laughed my ass off for what it’s worth.

Mirror

Listening to: John Mayer – Georgia
“Cause I wonder sometimes, about the outcome of a still verdictless life.” 

Sometimes all it takes is the right person at the right time to make a change. Sometimes.

How big a change do you need before it makes a true difference?

Does the magnitude of change matter or is the fact that there is a change all that counts?

I’ve been hearing a lot about this Hindraf matter and I truly don’t know where I stand with respect to this. I don’t know how they expect the British government to hand out USD 4 trillion dollars to a country that has achieved its independence 5o years ago. However if attention is what they demand, that is certainly what they are receiving.

I get so caught up in the cynicism of the world that it is so easy to forget that there are people out there who are truly trying to make their voices heard.

As an aside, I cannot tahan already, I’m gonna make ayam masak merah (or some semblance of it) tomorrow. I’ve had enough with the fast foods and instant noodles I have been subjected to during the exams.

I have a pimple very conspicuously situated on the tip of my nose.
I lost my temper on Friday night and grew weary. Same shit, different day.

Two very unrelated incidents mind you, but their revelations seemed to coincide.

What Fifi Did – Two

Listening to: Sarah McLachlan
         “It’s one missed step one slip before you know it.”

In case you needed an update – Anisha and I made our way to Melbourne on the Tuesday after our finals were over.

Melbourne –  was awesome.

A metropolitan fusion of culture and bright city lights; people in business suits rushing across streets during the lunch break to fit in a massage, jumping unto trams, listening to the unending roar of trains as it pulls into stations and people of every walk of life bustle in and out carrying a free copy of the newspaper tucked under their armpits, tightening the belts of their trenchcoats and sliding their sunnies back on to shade their eyes from the unforgiving glare of the sun.

Tall buildings dot every corner and Seven-Elevens every 200 metres – trust me, there is neither in Adelaide. I had my first Slurpee in three years today.

I made great new friends, who made the experience all the more memorable. I was going to wait to upload photos before I wrote this post but I figured I might as well write it while the scent, taste and sounds of Melbourne was still raw in my eye’s mind.

I sipped hot thick Italian chocolate at Max Brenner, made a killing at MNG, listened to funky techno didgeridoo as I walked down Little Bourke Street, treked downhill in boots at 2 am for three blocks only to find that Baroq House was closed, sipped Kiwichee at Atrium Bar on the 35th floor of the Sofitel building, camwhored in front of Federation Square with Anisha, devoured lamb kebabs at Mecca Bah, had amazing sea food at Claypot, hung out till 5 am in pajamas after a great night out with our housemates, sipped mochas in quaint old cafe bars, was served vegetarian yum cha by a very Asian KGB-like figure in Chinatown, battled the flies all throughout the trip and dropped a cool $70 on Krispy Kreme doughnuts and Famous Amos cookies with Anisha

We lived with Nish’s friends for 3 days and they were, in a single word, amazing.

Anand, Mansi - if you guys ever read this – you guys rock.
Vivi and Curtis – it has been an absolute pleasure meeting you guys.

Melbourne was something I have been saving up for and working towards for ages – I thank God for such an awesome ass experience. And yet, trams and Max Brenner and all, I am truly happy to be back in Adelaide. Good old Addy with its 70% senior citizens, sunshine attitude and relaxed ease – there is nothing like Adelaide.

Tomorrow night, Idol finals air at 730 p.m. Tonight, I&I dinner at Pondok Bali. Meanwhile, its 30something degrees and I feel like I’m burning from the inside out, but at least – there aren’t any flies.

Blink

Listening to: Rob Thomas
“Will you tell me my friend, will you still be there when the heartache ends?”

I can’t believe it took me two and a half hours to pack for a three day holiday. I packed and unpacked twice and forgot my undies both times. You’d think I’ve never been anywhere at the rate I was going.

Bask

Listening to: Ben Harper & The Innocent Criminals – Power of the Gospel
   “You may leave tomorrow, you may leave today.    But you gotta have the gospel when you start out on your way.”

And so it ends. Just like that.
Three years of work culminating into six little hours.

It took  a few mindless pursuits, lots of chocolate, bitter tears and some hard hits to get here - but here I am. Sitting at my computer with my iTunes shuffle on Sade, free, even if for a little while.

Then again, freedom, even when measured out in miligrams weighs much in the face of captivity.

I slept for thirteen hours once it was all over. For the first time in a long time I slept with my curtains closed because I didn’t need the sun to wake me up any longer. It feels good to have  finality to some things. I didn’t go online for a few days after that because I wasn’t ready to rejoin civilisation for awhile, didn’t want to face reality so soon.

So much for that.

My friends, yesterday we struggled and bled tears. But rejoice, for today we party like we have not before. And tomorrow, I leave for Melbourne.

*wild laughter*

Pardon my randomness. I’ve just finished my finals.
I think I can plead off with insanity.

I’m off to go pack. By the way I hate reading travel logs but you might just see me succumbing over the next few days. Let’s see how it goes

(and in the words of Noonie)
Daa~

Hymn

No one should ask why things are as they are; these questions will be answered at the right time

No one should ask why things are as they are; everything in creation has its purpose.

Everything made by the Lord is good; He meets every need at the proper time. No one can claim that some things are worse than others, for everything is good in its proper place.

Now then, sing praises with all your heart, and praise the name of the Lord!

Sirach 39: 17, 21, 33-35

Blueberries

Listening to: Rain – Breaking Benjamin
        “All the world is waiting for the sun.”

I know I have this same rant at about the same time every year. This hopefully will be the last.

If I could be on a commitee that spearheads the abolishment of exams everywhere, I would be on it with a basket of mini muffins in one hand and a flaming torch in the other.

I maintain: Periodic assignment based assessments are the way to go.

Less students and teachers get killed and/or maimed that way.

Nosferatu

Listening to: Straightjacket Feeling – All American Rejects
“Etched with marks but I can deal. You’re the problem and you can’t feel.”

There are two things I abhore when it comes to lecture notes:

1. All words and no diagrams
2. All diagrams and no words.

You would think teachers would have found a way to find a balance between the two. You would think that people who have such a passion for the subject would find a way to present it in a way that would inspire an equal passion in the student.

You would think.

You know that constriction in the pit of your stomach when you mentally plan ahead and feel like there is no way you can be ready for the exams in time?

I’ve just about had enough of reading about thymectomies, adhesion molecules, MHC haplotypes and fucking cytokines. Not to mention nonsense mediated decay, medical genetics and olfactory receptors.

Please, I just want it to be over.

Two exams in three days next week. I’m nowhere even close to being halfway ready for either. And I can’t even have a breakdown because there is no time for one.

This is the honest truth. I’ve even lost my taste for Tim Tams.
Don’t mind the griping, I need the rant.

I want to able to go bowling and go back to having eight hours of sleep and have a Shia LeBeouf movie night without having to worry about these exams. The very last one for my academic career.

I think I’ll just go to bed now.
Everything always seems much better in the morning somehow.