OutLast

 The entire post was drafted on a sheet of paper three days ago.

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 2 days – 20 speakers – 8 hours.

A class of students, held captive by a group of equally trapped student speakers bailiffed by three lecturers who look like they don’t want to be here anymore than anyone else. This was a test of alertness & patience. Coffee was no help.

It was time to OutSleep, OutSnore and OutLast.

2.10 pm, Day 2.

iPod Shuffle: Sheryl Crow – My Favourite Mistake

I’m sitting in a symposium consisting of molecular science students giving presentations of various diseases – it is non-examinable and started of quite interesting but as the hours passed, it just got harder and harder to stay awake. My packets of gummy bears have run out and my coffee supply is giving out. Everyone thinks I am passionately writing notes right now but I am not – thank God micro isn’t my major.

iPod Shuffle: John Mayer – No Such Thing

The next speaker is on now and I am thinking about dinner and how I have to cook for my friends tonight for the first time and how nervous that they’re gonna have have to be admitted and/or require some sort of glucose drip to combat diarrheoeal dehydration. Mimi is sitting on my right, the bill of her hat shading her drooping eyes; for which I don’t blame her. Like her cap though.  :) Anisha is engrossed in Mistress of Spices and Dorothy has her noce in her Chem notes. Kiki has her head propped in her hands and only about a quarter of the class is awake.

iPod shuffle: James Morrison – Undiscovered

I don’t know how the lecturers are doing it. I just want to be home under the covers, reading, in my PJs drinking some hot tea. Yes, a common theme. There is a girl in front of me in lime green framed glasses has a Homer Simpson comic book of some sort on her swivel desk – I want it; I love the Simpsons   

Asha Gill when asked what she would do if Homer was her father said she would put herself up for adoption. I don’t blame her…

Paused for a moment to listen to the concept of antigenic and phase variation which  I don’t fully understand yet.

James Morrison ascends into the choir crescendo and always makes me feel like standing up and clapping my hands  

Speakers switch over. Two girls are playing tic tac toe in front of me.

iPod shuffle: My Interpretation – Mika

She’s yelling now and saying “unprotected sex!” like a remand on people who dare have sex much less have it unprotected. Why is she yelling? “Male ejaculation!” and keeps getting louder as she gains momentum. Man alive! She yells all the choice words!!! “DISCHARGE!”

iPod Shuffle: Leave (Get Out) – Jojo

Male genitalia now – flashing on the screen before me. WHY is she yelling? She’s interrupting my entire iPod shuffle experience.

iPod Shuffle: Ben Harper – Woman In You

Ben Harper is so sexyy. Dorothy is fully slumped now, legs on the seat, Chem notes completely covering her face. The speaker is still yelling. Kristen who was asleep, wakes up to glare at the speaker for interrupting her and yells equally loudly “WHY IS SHE TALKING SO LOUDLY?” Our entire row turns to look at her.

She explains on paper: Did I yell very loudly? Shit, I din realise. Because I was trying to sleep and she was very loud…I had my iPod in. -_-

iPod: Off

The yeller is done and I like this next speaker so I’ll listen. The not yelling helps tremendously. Pictures of a blue and red condom flashes on the screen.

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This experience should be outlawed but thank God it was over. Makes me not wanna visit hospitals, ever have sex, eat oysters or ever get sick.

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*Disclaimer: The symposium in and off itself was extremely interesting and well presented. However the usual combination of timing and bored university students who just want to sleep it off makes it seem worthless. It wasn’t however  :) but I’m still glad I’m not an Immunity major.

P.s. listening to iPods during a presentation is highly rude. I acknowledge that and it should not be used as a favourable example.